Are you struggling to agree arrangements for your children for the school holidays?
The school summer holidays start in England & Wales very soon. The school holidays can cause stress for any family, with balancing childcare, work, and holiday plans. But for separated parents, this is especially hard.
The best thing is to plan ahead. Don’t wait until school holiday are here before you think about your parenting arrangements and plans for the summer!
DON’T avoid raising the issue with the other parent. If you’re able to discuss it, do. If you can’t speak, then put your proposal in an email, suggesting dates. Keep it calm, and polite.
If this is the first time you’ve had to sort out holidays since separating, remember there will be other holidays in the future, so be prepared to be flexible.
Focus on looking for solutions.
Sit down with your children, and plan some fun, exciting things to do together over the holidays.
School holidays bring a change of routine, and living arrangements that work well in term-time can prove inadequate or problematic in the summer.
Karen Newman and I are family mediators, and we are often asked for help by separated parents who cannot agree between themselves what will work best for their children during the school vacation.
The time they will spend with each parent during this period can be tricky to agree and, as the end of the school term approaches, the stress levels rise.
It is not just about who will look after the children day-to-day. You may also need to consider special arrangements for one or other parent taking the children away for a summer break.
We can help you tailor a plan that fits your unique family circumstances, and our advice is to get in touch soon.
If you are a separated parent, there are a few matters that you need to bear in mind, which I have set out below.
The mother automatically has Parental Responsibility (PR) for their child. A father will have Parental Responsibility for the child if they are married, or if unmarried but on the birth certificate and the parents registered the birth jointly. When travelling abroad you will need permission of anyone else with PR before you take the child/children abroad. This should be in writing, clearly giving permission.
The situation is different if you have a Child Arrangements Order in place which provides that the child lives with you. If that is the case, unless the order specially directs something else, you can take the child/children out of the country for 28 days, without specific permission. This is because the order will set out that the child lives with you. However, you should travel with the Order to ensure there is no confusion and to prove you have this evidence. The order will most likely provide provision for holidays in any event, so that either parent gives adequate notice and full details of the travel arrangements. Irrespective of the order, however, if the other parent objects, then permission from the court is required.
In addition to written permission, it is best practice and good co-parenting, to provide in writing to the parent not going on holiday, all of the details of travel and accommodation and emergency contact details.
If you are traveling within England and Wales, you do not need written permission, but holiday times should have been agreed and it is good parenting, again, to give all of the relevant travel and accommodation details to the other parent.
It is important to note that the above applies to travel outside the jurisdiction, so if you are travelling to Scotland or Northern Ireland the same rules apply as if you were travelling outside of the UK.
Grandparents often want to take the children on holiday, especially after parents have separated, to help with the children in the holidays. In such circumstances, all those with parental responsibility would need to give permission for such a trip.
If the other parent refuses to provide consent as set out above, you could try to resolve matters by attending mediation to deal with the issue. If mediation is not successful or appropriate then you will need to apply to the Court to obtain specific consent to take the child / children out of the jurisdiction. An application for Specific Issue Order will be required. You should remember that the courts are currently under huge pressure, and so if possible you should try and find a way of agreeing this without using the Courts. There is always the danger that you might not resolve matters through the courts before needing to travel, so mediation and other family dispute resolution services such as arbitration should be considered.
If you take a child / children out of the jurisdiction without the necessary consent or order in place, then you may be committing a child abduction offence.
If you are travelling abroad, you should always check the rules of the country you are travelling to, as irrespective of the English legal rules, foreign jurisdiction may have different rules when it comes to travelling with children and consent letters may be needed irrespective of any orders that English Courts have made.
As with any issue regarding children and parenting, if possible be open and transparent with each other and always have the children’s best interests and welfare at the forefront of discussions and agreements. Bear in mind that the court is likely to consider that holidays are in the children’s best interests.
If you would like to discuss any of the above in more detail please do not hesitate to contact either myself or one of the team at BH&O or our mediators and we will be happy to assist.
Ruth Hawkins, Partner
